Why I Do the Things I Do

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There’s a children’s game called Chinese whispers. It has other names such as broken telephone, gossip, pass the message, etc. You may remember playing this game at camp as a kid, in school, or maybe even church. The purpose of the game is to teach children the dangers of gossip and we should neither listen to nor participate in gossip, otherwise known as the spreading of rumors a.k.a. telling lies.  As rumors spread, they change. Any truth the story may have had during the first telling of it is almost always lost by the last telling of it and everything in between has been exaggerated to the point that it becomes nothing but a tall tale with absolutely no truth left to it.

Are you spreader of gossip?  Do you embellish stories as you tell them to make them more interesting? Do you exaggerate parts of the story you focus on and want other people to focus on?  If you cannot remember the full story or the details of the story do you make it up as you go along?

If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then not only are you spreader of gossip, butdownload you are also a spreader of  lies.  You are a liar whether you realize it or not.  Consider the gossip that you are spreading, the lies that you’re telling to embellish the story, and the person the story is about. Consider the damage that you may be doing by telling the embellished story to others who then tell it to others with their own embellishments who then tell it to even more people with more embellishments and exaggerations and it goes on and on and on until people tire of hearing the story.  Consider the people know who the story is about and don’t like them. They are more apt to add to the story and change it to cause more damage to the victims. And yes victims is the correct term. The people you are spreading rumors about are your victims.

669f0174c30744373a03ea659ae198b5You can say it’s not your fault, you told the story as you heard it, you’re not the one that started it, you were just talking about it with somebody, or whatever other excuse you can come up with so that you do not have to take any of the blame in the damage that is done by the rumor.  Truth is, if you participated in the retelling of the story in any way shape or form, then you do share in the blame for the damage that is being done to the person or persons mentioned in the story.

By spreading the story, you become a perpetrator and the people in the story, your victims.  Think before you speak.  Congratulations you have just turned into a bully ~ an abuser. Your children or somebody else’s children probably overheard the spreading of the story. Children learn what they live and now they have just learned how to gossip and embellish and lie and bully.  You are an adult and you set the example for children to follow. You should behave in the manner you want your children to behave so that they learn right from wrong.

A lot of people like to assume many things about others. Currently, there are a lot of rumors going around about me and why I do the things that I do. It always amazes me the images (1)people would rather assume things about others based on the rumors that they hear instead of asking the person themselves. Life would be so much easier if people had the courage to go directly to the source and get the truth instead of going to the bar to get the rumor.

I am a parent. My children come first. I do the best that I can do and everything I do it’s for the best interest of my children. I am not perfect. I make mistakes. Sometimes the decision that I make is not in the best interest of the children as I believed it was. I do not do things to cause other people harm. If somebody’s feelings get hurt because of an action I took as a result of me doing what’s in the children’s best interest then that person whose feelings got hurt should ask themselves why their feelings got hurt.  It’s something I do hurt your feelings then it’s probably because you cannot accept the truth about you. If your feelings are hurt it’s possible I feel you’re a threat to my children and if I feel you’re a threat to my children then there is a reason for that; you are a threat to my children. Your feelings are not my problem when it comes to my children. I do not care what you want. I do not care what you desire. Your life is your life to take care of. If you want something that will make you happy in your life then it is your job to go out and get it. It is not my job to provide it for you.  My life is my job and my children are my job and their best interests are my job. I know what my job is and I know how to do my job.

There you have it. I do the things I do because of my children. I have my priorities in order. I know what’s important to me and I know what isn’t important to me.  I know how to handle my life and my priorities and I do not need others to tell me how to handle my own affairs, affairs in which they have no experience in nor knowledge of.  All they have is information they took out of something they heard or overheard from somebody else in a bar, on Facebook or someplace else that was spreading an embellished an exaggerated rumor based on lies, hatred, jealousy, anger or some combination thereof.

Be the person you want your child to be; your child is watching everything you do to be like you.image2

Best wishes,
~ M

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