Do you know what it’s like to wonder if you’ve literally lost your mind and gone completely mental? I do. Sometimes I feel as if I have. It isn’t a happy thought or feeling. It scares me. It causes anxiety and mild to moderate panic. The “what-ifs” flood my mind. Then, I realize, if you are questioning your mental state, then you are self-aware and you are not mental. It’s easy to feel like you’ve gone mental when you’ve been in a long term relationship with a narcissist. The narcissistic mind is not a logical mind and nothing makes sense unless you can think illogically. Things that don’t make sense boggles our minds. We think it’s a puzzle or a riddle and we try to solve it. We can’t solve it. The pieces just don’t fit. Even so, we try to force them.
We mean what we say and we say what we mean and we expect everybody else to be the same. It’s hard to wrap your mind around the illogical when you are a logical person. It’s even harder to wrap your mind around the fact that their friends believe everything they say when nothing they say makes sense. If you put their words to the truth test, they fail every time. The hardest part, I believe, is accepting the fact that you, a highly intelligent individual, were fooled not just one time, but over and over and over again, for 8, 9 , 10 or more years by a not so highly intelligent person and you never saw it coming. That messes with your mind because you know you’re smart but now you’re here wondering how could you be so stupid. It’s very simple. I read a quote that fits perfectly which says, “They are sicker than we are smart”. They have no conscience, no empathy, no rules, no holds barred while we do.
There are lines we don’t cross, limits we don’t exceed, words we don’t speak while the narcissist does. We care about others. We put ourselves in their shoes in attempts to grasp some type of understanding of their situations and feel the way they feel. The narcissist is incapable of such action. The narcissist only cares about the narcissist and the narcissist will attempt to get whatever the narcissist wants by any and all available measures, regardless of laws and damages caused to others. It’s not that we’re stupid; it’s that we have heart. The pieces will never fit because they are not like us.