My Sunshine

 

imagesZYURDE1NimagesIPO6LPRAI know you don’t believe me when I say that I SEE you, but I do.  I’d love to sit and chat the way we used to.  I am not blind to your pain, you show it to me everyday.  I can see it in your eyes and when I do, I feel it too.  Your smile doesn’t hide it anymore.  I have tried everything I know how to do.  I haven’t had much guidance in the area of motherhood but I do know unconditional love.  Nothing is as I had planned.  In my mind, you were to have a beautiful life, a loving father, a close bond with your siblings, lots of family around you and the most magical holidays you could ever dream of.  It started out that way.  Then everything went wrong.  I am sorry that things were not what they were meant to be.  You deserve so much more.  I cannot change the past but we can change the future.  I need to know that you are OK.  I need to know if I need to come find you.

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untitledUnconditional LoveYou know how I am and you know if I don’t hear from you soon, I will start looking for you.  Even just a FB message that says “I’m OK” from you will do.  I’ll start putting slideshows up of you as a baby.  Or perhaps, of your birth. No, I wouldn’t do that.  That was a joke to make you go, “EWE”..  I made you a video.  I love you Sunshine.  You are my heart.  When you hurt, I hurt.  When you are happy, I am happy.  Remember your dreams.  Follow your dreams.  I know you can do it.  Please call me soon.

All of my love, unconditionally, forever and ever,

Mom.

PS. I will take you video down if you call me and ask me to.  I won’t even argue over it. ❤

I wrote you a letter the other day. I was saving it, but I will share it with you now.  It is here.

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Categories: Love | Tags: , , ,

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