Life

Mel’s Ramblings

I am far from perfect. I make mistakes. I own my mistakes. I accept the consequences of my actions. I am nobody to judge anybody else. Why do those are the same as me, somehow think they’re better than me and have a right judge me? Everyone is the same. Everyone makes mistakes and nobody has the right to judge anybody else. I just wish the world would remember that. I wish certain people in my life would remember that.

These last few months have shown me how alone I really am. Getting a phone call from anyone other than my Daddy and texts from anyone other than my oldest daughter, Tiffany, is rare and far and few between. I know that some, like my best friend Polly and my younger brothers and sister have been going through there on ordeals which of course take priority in their lives. Yet others, who I thought would be there for support, vanished from my life. Then, there are those who have chosen to continue the gossip; spreading rumors, innuendos and judgements as if they are somehow above me and have never made mistakes and errors in judgement.

I’ve learned that I’m no one’s priority other than my own; no one can ever be trusted 100% other than my dad; and that most people who ask how you are would prefer you answer with the lie and say “great” than to tell the truth and say “not so good”. When you tell the truth, they stop asking because they don’t want to feel obligated to listen to your problems and help you fix them.

I think sometimes people forget or just simply don’t know what it’s like to be so overwhelmed with trials and tribulations that all you can do is pray for somebody to step in and help pick them back up, brush off the dust, and tell them it’s all going to be ok and that if no one does, how easy it is to simply give up because no one seems to care one way or another anyway.

And it is true that some people really do not care one way or the other as long as their life is going good for them. I have heard the phrase, “not my problem”, more times in the last three months then I think I have heard in my entire life. When did we reach the point where people only care about themselves not about the people around them? Just because it’s not your problem doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help, does it? Sometimes, the only help when needs is an ear to listen and a mouth that delivers wise advice. Is that so hard to do these days? Where has all the empathy gone? And if you can’t take the time out to listen to another and advise them what makes you think everyone should take the time to listen to you when you find yourself in an upward battle? Are you really that much better than the rest of the world?

Ramblings from the mind of a broken-hearted, lost soul.

Forever in his Grace,

Mel

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Categories: Adventure, Friendship, Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Forgotten Post

I’ve forgotten to finish telling Johnny’s story. I shall sit down after settling in after work and finish it this evening. I have others written which are ready to reveal.

Categories: Adventure, Fraud, Life, Parenthood

How Do You Do It

How do I do what?
How do you keep giving when all they do is take?
How do you keep trusting when all they do is betray?
How do you keep loving when all they do is hate?
I don’t know. I just do. I care. I believe.
What do you believe? That all of a sudden they’ll start caring just because you do?
No. I believe that they will start believing if they hear they are believed in more often than not.
That’s ridiculous. How do you expect them to hear it when they never even listen?
They hear it. They hear everything. How do think they got so broken? Would you stop living if all they ever did was die?
Of course not. Why would I stop living? I’m not miserable like they are.
Are you sure? To live is to give, to trust, to love, to care, and to believe. Without that, you’re dead inside. Where’s the joy in that?
Categories: Adventure, Life, Love | Tags: , , , , , ,

Which Way? — What is Unconditional Love Worth to You?

I see you are at a crossroads. This is the only first LOVE you get. Never will you have the opportunity which you have at this very moment again.

LOVE is not easy. To keep LOVE alive, you must work hard at it. If it were easy, everyone would have it; no one would appreciate it; no one would treasure it. Whether you choose to work at it and embrace it or throw it away because of a pebble in your path is up to you. While you make your decision, you need to know this:

You know that LOVE she has for you? That is the kind of LOVE you don’t want to lose. She will stick with you through thick and thin no matter what. She would sacrifice the moon for you. That LOVE is rare and hard to come by.  You will never find another LOVE like that, so think long and hard before you throw it all away.

Yet, perhaps she is better off without you holding her back. She will never LOVE another the way she LOVES you. Even if she would be better off without you holding her back, she will sacrifice all that she could be just to keep LOVING you.

This is your life. You are in control of it. You decide if it is worth it or not to see where your adventure with your first LOVE goes on the challenging narrow path or to take the wide and easy road.  I can tell you it is worth it to her.

What is that worth to you? To have somebody LOVE you so unconditionally that they will sacrifice everything for you?

True and unconditional love.

The Narrow and Wide Gates
13“Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. 14“For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it. ~Matthew 7

Do you think LOVE should be easy? If you throw this LOVE away over a pebble, you will always throw LOVE away over a pebble. There are many pebbles on the path of all that’s right and just. You gotta go through the darkness to get to the light.

 

Forever growing in His Grace,

 

Mel

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Categories: Adventure, Life, Love | Tags: , , , ,

SUNSHINE

Cynthia, remember when you first introduced me to this video?

I remember everything. Sunflowers are your favorite flower. Green is your favorite color. You love the cold and hate the heat. You hate wearing dresses. You hated them since the day you were born. You want to go to Alaska and run the Iditarod. You want to go to Madagascar and work with animals. You want to attend a college in Europe for a year. You are interested in Veterinary services because you want to help the animals.

You are considering being a combat medic and then studying medicine to become a Brain Surgeon. You love cats. You especially like the big kind, like the black panther at the Douglas Zoo named Ninja. He’s probably passed on by now.

You like little dogs but only for a short period of time. Big dogs are more your style because they can go and do things you go and do.

Who you are at the core of your being never changes. It may get lost or buried, but it always stays the same. You have a heart. You are not cold. I know you like to play tough and push people away before you start to care about them. It is easier that way than having your heart broken, but that is not living. If you are not feeling, then you are not living. You want to be happy, but you can never be happy if you never allow yourself to feel. I hope that you are doing well in school. I would like very much to attend your graduation. I am curious to know if you have yet decided on the Navy or a different course.  Are you going to prom?  Do you need a dress?  Let me know and I will make it happen.  I always have and I always will.  You wanted Washington DC and I gave you Washington DC.  You wanted California and I gave you California.  I remember your prom dress last year.  I remember when you picked it out and sent me the photo.  It was over your budget but when I saw you in that dress, I had to get it.  You were so excited and thankful.  You were the most beautiful young lady at the prom.

You don’t think I hear you or pay attention, but I do. I remember everything you tell me. How else would I know that you have a big heart?  I remember the boy that no one liked.  You took him under your wing and transformed him and helped him gain friends.  He wasn’t the only one, either.  A heartless soul would never have done that.  I know you don’t like to be touched and I completely understand that. I do not blame you one bit. I would like so very much to hug you and hold you and comfort you so you could get it all out. It is OK to cry sometimes. It is OK to not be OK and to say you are not OK. I don’t expect you to be perfect. I expect you to be you. You are perfectly imperfect and I love every single imperfection.  They are what make you, you, and you are so much more than you allow yourself to believe.  Believe in yourself.  Love yourself.  I believe in you.  I love you.

With all of my heart and nothing but unconditional love,

Mom.

Categories: Adventure, Life, Parenthood | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Invisible

“Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.” – Mother Teresa

Categories: Life, Quotes | Tags: , , ,

Life is an Adventure

“I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It’s all a question of how I view my life.” – Paulo Coelho, http://www.bquot.es/s/949

Categories: Adventure, Life, Quotes